I am feeling pretty sad here lately. I have been so excited about being pregnant. I thought for so long I never would be and now I am and the joy of having life growing inside of me is just awesome. Now if I could only get my family on board with that joy.

My family...Mom, Dad and Kelly are all upset because Rob and I arent' married. On top of that with my recent health battles they are also worried that something is going to happen to me or our baby. My mom just sounds exhausted when I talk to her...something in her voice just makes me want to break down and cry. My dad is super supportive but you can tell he is worried. I have to say I apprieciate his support through this though...what would I do without it? My sister is being wonderful too. She is worried as well...yet she is probably the best at being concerned without making me upset. I really like my sister...she has a way about her.

Rob's family...and Rob....I am just not sure how to deal with them. Rob lost a baby...carried it to full term...on the morning the baby was supposed to be delivered there was a good strong heart beat...by the time she went in to give birth the baby was dead. Very tramatic.

I understand it was hard...I really have no idea how hard as I've not been through anything like that. Yet Ellen (Rob's mom) declares that she is not getting the baby a single thing till after it's already born. She says we aren't setting up the nursery or doing anything until the week before the baby comes. Is she kidding? Sadly she is not.

I am sorry but because little Robert died does not mean that my baby deserves no planning or preperation so that we can sheild ourselves for a possible loss....a loss that is most likely NOT going to happen. It's still a scary time....we won't know until week 20 that everything is formed correctly but I am 12 weeks now. Doc O said that after 12 weeks the likelyhood of miscarriage because my sugars were too high when we conceived is very greatly reduced. So guess what my little fetus is just fine and will very likely be making his or her way into our world on or about Nov. 16...that's just 6 short months.

I understand self preservation...but come on now. The doom and gloom approach to pregnancy is just not acceptable. Part of the enjoyment of being pregnant is waiting and planning for this little girl/guy and I am starting to find myself angry at Ellen and sometimes at Rob for being so negative. Concerned I completely understand and apprieciate. The reality is my baby isn't dead so let's not treat it as if it was.