Thursday is the procedure....sounds ominous doesn't it? They are putting me under for it....i've never been under before. hope i don't die...lol...Trialady how is that for optimisim?

i am doing so much better on just liquids that even though food smells good...i am just not mourning the loss of food like i thought i would. God is doing that...cause i think fat girl would really like a nice cheese pizza.

i am worried about Suzy. She hasn't blogged...hasn't myspaced me...called nothing. i am worried that i made her mad at me....but short of going over there and hunting her down i am not sure what to do. i love her...but respect she might just need some space. i hated being 16. Oh but Suzy is going to american idol try outs! i am so proud of her....wish she would get in touch with me somehow...if she doesn't then friday i am going suzy hunting...assuming i am all recovered from the procedure.

Now on to the very interesting aspects of my life. Jim Wow he's just a good guy. Things are progressing quite nicely. Today is actual the begining of week three. i wished him happy anniversary and he rolled his eyes at me. LOL Pesky man! I promised i'd not get him a present till our year. teee hehehehe

In all seriousness as i spend time with him....pray to God that He leads us both....i find myself more and more smitten. He isn't letting me go to fighter practice on Wednesday night or our card game after because he wants me in bed resting. I think he is scared of the procedure too. He's acting quite protective...i love that!

We went to Pirates of the Carrabien the other night. It was crowded. He held my hand. :) Some of the time as we held hands our hands rested on his knee...others...on mine...but my favorite was when he crossed his arms and my hand was on his chest. i could feel his heart beating. i know i know shut up deb....lol....it always amazes me that little stuff like that makes my heart leap.

So....today i talk to an ex of mine....he is trying to woo me back to him. It isn't going to work. I told him normally i don't go backwards in relationships and he writes me back that i am with Jim. LOL He told me that he regrets how our relationship ended and that it was all him and his perceptions. I apprieciate his apology....but after he kept making reference to how he wanted sex etc etc...i kinda realized he doesn't really want me....he is just horny. Nothing wrong with being horny....i know the feeling all to well. However it's just not enough reason to leave a relationship i believe to really be God sent.

i am hungry gonna go get my liquid food.....yummy!