So now i am done with the crying boo hoo life isn't worth living buisness. Of course i've now moved on to crying because i am being purely unreasonably angry. Angry at things that don't make any sense.
Poor Jim. He is concerned about me. Made the mistake of saying there will be other events....oooooo....i almost killed him....told him he didn't understand...pretty much stalked off. He didn't come after me...he went out with the boys. Can't say as i blame him...but...okay i do! How dare he go off when i need him? i certianly understand he doesn't want to deal with the drama...but then neither do i. How dare he leave me to deal with this all by myself...i mean after all we've been dating again for a whole week now!
See...totally unreasonably angry i am....and i know it...but am not doing too well at controlling it. i want him to hold me...tell me he understands how scared i am of the unknown and that together we will get through it. i don't want to feel so alone right now. And reasonable me knows i am not alone...my parents are there for me...my sister is there for me...i have friends who are there for me...it's just that there is no one here actually holding me...too bad there is unreasonable me running amok.
And then there is the Blitzkrieg of self...how have i always dealt with feeling alone? Me and fat girl have gone for the food. No food for fat girl...no comfort for deb.
So i suppose it's time to discover healthy positive ways of dealing eh? I've been saying it for months now...i guess it's time to actually put that plan into full blown action. Just working out isn't enough...clearly.
3 comments:
Hugs from our family to you!
We all love you and wish we could be there to show you how much. Take care and know that we are thinking of you.
Seems to me that there must be a miracle just around the corner. All the evidence is there. Wait for it, pray for it. It will come.
Thank you Sharon. I love you guys too. I am actually in better spirits now. Just drinking these shake things is really helping. I am not sick and haven't felt sick to my stomach and am not in pain. Other than having to really keep an eye on my blood sugar (which seems to be running kinda low) i am pretty happy with my progress.
And as for miracles....grins...the fact that He loves me through my giant moodiness is miracle enough for me!
Love you Sharon!
Deb, I hope you are feeling better soon. All the kind words, e-mails & phone calls in the world are not the same as two strongs arms wrapped around you. Your loneliness comes through loud & clear in this post.
Hope things will work out in your favor very soon!! :o)
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