Well there is trouble in boyville.
Jim and i had this conversation last night where he says to me he's not ready for a serious committment. He's not in a place where he's ready.
My first reaction is then why in the heck are you dating me if you aren't ready to date? Why are you wasting my time? One of my biggest pet peeves is when people waste my time and he knows this and it would seem that he is doing just that.
Last night i was sad...this morning i am kinda leaning more to mad. How dare he lead me down the he is serious about me path when he isn't?
I asked him last night if not serious meant that he wasn't ready for marriage (hello! duh!) or if it was a let's date other people kinda not serious. He says you can date other people.
Um...and that statement right there is why i am mad today. i offer him a gift (me...myself) and he values it so little that he willingly says go date other people?
Something doesn't compute there.
So now i am not sure where i am or what i am doing with this guy. If he isn't ready to date...isn't ready for commitment and doesn't even have the good sense to value that i want to date just him then i can't see how this is going to work out.
God brought him into my life i have no doubt...but apparently even God can't make a man have good sense (sorry Royce, Karl....my other male readers....it's a woman scorned comment i know)
I am taking a break...going to work...do things i like...get my foot in order...continue Blitzkreiging my bad self and see where it goes.
Again i don't NEED a boyfriend...but i really really like this one...and it's a very big disappointment to find this out. Better now than 2 years from now....but i have to say...it sure would be nice if one day someone just fell in love with me...wanted me...apprieciated me...and didn't so easily disgaurd my value.
2 comments:
I always said dating sucks be it male or female. I don't want to start a Royce pity party but,
ex-fiance cheated on me with a guy she sent to prison for molesting her when she was a kid. I walked in on that.
And I could list a few other nut-jobs i have dated.
There is someone out there for you, and everybody else is not that dude.
Sorry though, I know my experiences and words can't make you feel better right now.
Sorry I haven't been around lately. But did stop by today and read your blog ( I actually usually read, even if I don't comment). I'm sorry things aren't going well. Everyone wants to be wanted, especially if they have a specific person they care about. Maybe this is not the guy, or maybe he needs a little time. Maybe there is someone even MORE wonderful out there. Be good to yourself, and live life to the fullest. If he doesn't fit into those two things, don't worry. Someone will. I really respect your independence. You will be ok. Either way.
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